Hot Tubs & Cold Cream
by Belle Walker
Summary: It's all fun and games...until somebody gets slimed.  Written July 2003.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh, come on, Sam," Daniel pleaded. "It'll be fun!"

"Yeah," Jack agreed with a grin. "Come on, Sam. Siler was nice enough to let us use his Jacuzzi while he's gone on vacation. You can't have three guys and no girls—that's just _wrong_."

Sam ignored Jack and tried an excuse with Daniel. "Umm, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to be in skimpy summer attire, sitting in a hot tub with the Colonel, or you or Teal'c."

Daniel stood there with his hands in his pockets and the cutest pout on his face. "What—you'll battle Goa'ulds with us, but you won't join us for a little relaxation?"

Jack sipped his coffee and watched with amusement as Sam contemplated Daniel's request.

Sam was silent for a few moments. Finally, she said with a teasing grin, "You just wanna see me in a bikini."

Jack promptly choked on his coffee.

Daniel grinned and looked shyly down at his feet. "That's not why, and you know it!"

Sam sighed. "I'm probably going to regret this," she finally said. "But count me in."


	2. Chapter 2

Never in her life did Sam think she would find herself lounging in a bubbly Jacuzzi with a gorgeous Air Force Colonel, a solemn alien Jaffa , and an attractively geeky archeologist.

Teal'c wore swim trunks, but no shirt. He was directly across the hot tub from Sam, and his symbiote pouch was starting to really give her the creeps.

Sam focused her mind on Daniel and Jack. They, too, wore no shirts.

Daniel was on Sam's left, and Jack was on her right.

If she turned her head just slightly one way, she could see Jack's wonderfully firm chest and stomach from the corner of her eye.

When she turned slightly the other way, she had a side view of Daniel's lovely muscular arms.

Sam bit back a grin, thoroughly enjoying her choice spot in the Jacuzzi.

"This water seems to be decreasing in temperature," Teal'c observed. "Is not the purpose of this device to exhibit warm therapeutic waters?"

"You noticed that too?" Jack said. "I thought it was just me." He stretched his arms out and rested one arm casually on the edge of the tub behind Sam's back.

Sam pretended not to notice his arm, and leaned backward just a little bit until she felt his skin brush against hers. "Maybe you should check the thermostat, Daniel," she suggested with a satisfied smirk.

Daniel shrugged a shoulder, and reached behind her to the control knobs. "Excuse me, Sam." He turned the temperature up a little, and the bubble jets came on. "That's better."

He took his hand off the knob, gaping at a glob of blue slime on his fingers. "Ugh. What the heck is this?"

"Ew," Sam and Jack said together.

"I must concur," Teal'c stated, amused at the reaction on Daniel's face.

"Yeah." Daniel started to wipe it onto the tub railing, but stopped suddenly with a very wicked expression on his face. "Oh Sammy," he said in a sing-song voice. "I got somethin' for ya." He wiggled his fingers threateningly at her.

"No! Daniel!" Sam squealed and grabbed his wrist. "Don't you dare!"

Daniel laughed evilly and tried to get her with his other hand.

Sam grabbed that wrist as well.

Jack and Teal'c howled with laughter as Sam wrestled with Daniel.

"Daniel! You're gonna make me fall!" Sam could feel her feet start to slip. Well if she was going to fall, Daniel was going down too! She deliberately hooked her foot around his ankle, taking him down with her.

"Hey! No fair!" Daniel grabbed wildly for something to hold onto. Something besides Sam.

Ever the hero, Jack grabbed his first officer around the waist before she could conk her head on the Jacuzzi edge.

"Thank you, sir!" Sam said with a laughing shriek. "Oh, sir! Duck!"

"O'Neill, take cover!" Teal'c shouted.

With his arms still around Sam, Jack tried to twist out of the way, but wasn't nearly fast enough. He received a large, goopy blue handprint in the middle of his back.

Jack was _not_ a happy camper.

He released Sam, and stood up straight and tall. He peered over his shoulder at the blue handprint, then gave Daniel a silent glare.

"Oops," Daniel said sheepishly.

"Oh, you're gonna _think_ oops, Space Monkey." In one swift move, Jack swiped a handful of blue sludge off the control knob and flung it at Daniel.

Daniel tried to dart out of the line of fire, but the slime hit him squarely in the back.

It was Jack's turn to laugh evilly.

Sam took pity on her favorite Space Monkey. She grabbed a towel off the Jacuzzi deck. "Come here, Daniel. I'll clean that gunk off." Sam dipped the towel into the water and scrubbed gently at Daniel's back.

"Hey, do me when you're done with him," Jack said as he tried, futilely, to reach the slime on his own back.

Sam raised her eyebrow at him.

Jack blushed slightly as he realized his choice of words.

Teal'c simply smirked.

"I meant, please wash my back when you finish with his," Jack explained.

Daniel snickered. "I think Sam would go for the _first_ suggestion, though."

"Watch it, buster." Sam gave Daniel a friendly poke in the side. She picked up his gunky hand and wiped it, then turned away.

"Your turn, sir," she said, moving around to Jack's back as Daniel retreated to the far end of the hot tub.

As Sam rubbed the wet towel along Jack's skin, she deliberately allowed her fingernails to trail down his back. She smiled to herself as Jack sucked in a breath and let out a low grunt. She gave his back one final wipe, then moved to stand beside him.

Still recovering from Sam's fingernail trail, Jack took in a ragged breath as he looked at her.

Keeping her eyes locked onto his, Sam picked up Jack's soiled hand—slowly and deliberately.

She gave him a slightly flirtatious smile. "Wash your hands," she said in a low voice, plopping the soggy towel into his open hand. Then she turned and sauntered through the shallow waters toward the Jacuzzi exit.

At the bottom of the steps, she stopped, turned her head and glanced over her shoulder. "Well, I've had enough." Her gaze swept over the three members of her team and landed on Jack. "You guys coming, or what?"

Sam stepped up and out of the Jacuzzi, wrapping a towel around herself. She had to bite back a huge grin as, out of the corner of her eye, she saw three pairs of wide eyes and three mouths hanging open. Sam turned and faced them, striking a pose Hathor would be envious of. "Well?"

The guys quickly got over their shock. Teal'c wisely stepped aside as Jack pushed his way through and scrambled out of the hot tub.

There were only two towels left. There had originally been four, but Sam was wearing one and had soaked the other one in the hot tub while washing off the blue slime.

Teal'c quickly picked one of the two remaining towels.

Jack grabbed at the last one the same time Daniel did.

"Hey, get your _own_ towel, Jack!" Daniel hollered, gripping his towel tightly. He ripped it out of the colonel's grasp and furiously rubbed at his hair with it.

"Yeah, mine has your slime on it, thank you very much." Jack hollered back.

"You can have mine, sir," Sam offered as she slipped on a flimsy t-shirt and some cut-off jeans shorts.

"Thank you, Major." Jack took Sam's towel and dried his face, then arms and chest. As soon as his back was turned, Teal'c surprised them all by twisting up his own towel and snapping it at Jack's backside.

Daniel and Sam cracked up.

"Hmmph. What else do you expect from a Jaffa?" Jack remarked, more amused about it than he'd ever actually let on.


	3. Chapter 3

"Colonel, are you all right?" Sam asked Jack as the four members of SG-1 sat in the commissary the next day.

"Me? Just peachy," Jack answered a little distractedly. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, sir, you keep scratching at your back. You've been doing that for the past half hour."

"Yeah," Jack tried to think of a good reason for continually scratching his back. "I guess my shirt is making me itch."

Sam's scientist mind quickly reasoned out that excuse. "But if it was your shirt, wouldn't your arms and chest itch too?"

"It's nothing, Carter," Jack insisted. "I'm fine."

Sam furrowed her brow in thought. "Hmm."

"You know," Daniel spoke up. "_My_ back has been itching all morning. Maybe you and I are having allergic reactions to something."

"With you, Space Monkey, _everything_ is an allergy," Jack commented wryly.

"Perhaps you both should report to the infirmary," Teal'c suggested.

_(time break)_

"Well, I can honestly say I've never seen a rash quite like this," Dr. Janet Fraiser said as she examined Daniel's back. "There could be a number of things that caused it. You haven't switched laundry detergents lately, have you?" she asked the archeologist.

"No," Daniel answered with a shake of his head. "Been using the same stuff I always use."

"Hmm. Well..." Janet made some notes on her clipboard. "It's an allergic reaction to _something_. I just wish I knew what."

Sam, meanwhile, had pushed up the back of Jack's shirt.

Jack looked up at her curiously, but didn't protest.

"Uh...Janet?" Sam said, eyeing Jack's rash. "I think I know what caused it."

Janet came around to see what Sam was looking at, her eyes widening in surprise.

Jack's rash looked every bit as itchy as Daniel's, yet it was just a little bit different.

Whereas Daniel's skin inflammation was a random nondescript form, Jack's rash was in the distinct shape of a handprint.

Janet gaped for a minute. She took in Jack's embarrassed expression, the look of curiosity Daniel held, and the highly amused smirk on Sam's face. "How—" she started to ask, then changed her mind. "You know what? I'm not even gonna ask."


	4. Chapter 4

Daniel hopped off the edge of the infirmary bed he was sitting on. He came around to stand at Sam's other side, and his mouth dropped open when he saw Jack's back.

"Oh my—" Daniel cleared his throat nervously. "That's uh...ummm...I am really sorry Jack."

Jack didn't hear Daniel. He was distracted by Sam, who was curiously touching that sensitive area on his back, examining the outline.

"It's a perfect handprint," she marveled to herself.

"Hey, cut it out, Sam," Jack leaned forward, away from her curious fingers. "You're making me itch again."

"Oh! Sorry, sir," Sam said a little sheepishly.

Janet gave them all a no-nonsense look. "Okay. Care to tell me what it's from?"

"Um..." Daniel began.

"It's all Siler's fault!" Jack hollered. "It was _his_ blue slime! And it's _Daniel's_ fault for throwing it!" he added indignantly.

"Blue slime?" Janet echoed in confusion. She turned to Sam. "What is he talking about?"

Sam explained what Jack meant. "Sergeant Siler let us use his Jacuzzi yesterday. Me, Daniel, the Colonel, and Teal'c. Uh, Daniel adjusted the heat setting, and got some blue slime on his hand. Daniel, being typical Daniel, decided it would be fun to terrorize us with it." She narrowed her eyes briefly at him. "Long story short, he, uh, got some on the Colonel...and in retaliation, Colonel O'Neill threw some at Daniel."

"Hmm." Janet took in this information. "They touched it with their bare hands?"

"Yes. Just the Colonel and Daniel," Sam answered. "Teal'c didn't touch it, and I only touched it with a towel when I washed it off their backs."

Janet examined Jack's hands. There was no sign of a rash there. She checked Daniel's hands, finding the same results. "Well, it sounds like you were infected by some sort of mold. Though I don't understand why it caused an inflammation on your backs, but not your hands."

"I dunno, Doc," Jack said, unhelpfully. "Maybe it's immune to hands."

Janet ignored his comment and wrote a few things down on her clipboard. "I'll need a sample of the substance you touched. I need to run some tests on it so I can determine what it is and how to counteract it."

"I can get a sample," Sam volunteered.

"Good." Janet handed her an empty sample jar. "I need it now."

_(time break)_

With a rubber spatula, Sam scraped a large amount of the blue slime into the sample jar. She squinted her eyes at the offending substance and tightened the jar lid. Then she hightailed it back to Janet's lab at the SGC.

General Hammond declared the members of SG-1 to be out of commission until further notice. He was not one bit happy about this turn of events.

Neither was SG-1.

Jack was itchy and grumpy.

Daniel was itchy and pouty.

Teal'c was neither itchy nor grumpy nor pouty, since he had not come into contact with the rash-producing substance.

Sam hadn't come into contact with it either. At least, she was sure she hadn't. But near the end of the day, her fingers had started to tingle and burn, and no amount of icy cold water would make it stop.

"Well, I'm afraid you've been exposed to it," Janet informed her.

"But how?" Sam demanded. "I wore rubber gloves when I collected the sample. I didn't even get anything on the gloves!"

"You didn't accidentally touch the rash on Daniel's back, did you?" Janet asked. "Or the Colonel's?"

Sam thought about that for a minute, then exclaimed, "Oh my god, Janet! I'm such an idiot!"

"Why? What did you do?"

Sam ducked her head in embarrassment. "I touched Colonel O'Neill's rash."

Janet gaped at her. "How?"

"Well...it was a perfectly shaped handprint, Janet. I couldn't help but examine it." Sheepishly, she added, "You know me. I can't look without touching."

Janet rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Oh, Sam! Honestly, didn't it occur to you that they might be contagious?"

"No," Sam pouted. "Well I paid the price for my curiosity, didn't I?"

Janet sighed to herself. She knew what protocol would dictate next. "I have to quarantine you."

"What?"

"As chief medical doctor for this facility, it is my obligation to protect the health of everyone here to the best of my ability. Your inflamed hands are proof that there is a contagious element in existence here. In order to preserve the health of yourself and others on this mountain, I am obligated to quarantine you."

Sam whined. "Oh, why me!"

"Not just you," Janet answered sympathetically. "You, Daniel and Colonel O'Neill."

"I think I'm getting a headache already," Sam whimpered.


	5. Chapter 5

"Carter, how long have we been in here?"

Sam checked her watch. "About six minutes, sir."

"Damn, I was sure it had been _seven_ minutes."

Sam rolled her eyes at her Commanding Officer's back as he continued to pace the carpeted floor of the semi-luxury VIP room they were quarantined in.

"Well, at least they let us change back into civilian clothing," Daniel spoke up, trying to find a bright side to their confinement.

"That's only because Janet confiscated our BDUs for testing on." Sam informed him.

Jack finally stopped pacing. "Hey, Carter?"

"Nine minutes, sir," Sam answered immediately, knowing very well what the Colonel was about to ask.

Jack gave her a mock scowl.

Sam smiled innocently.

"We've been here for nine minutes, and I'm already bored out of my mind," Jack grumbled, flinging himself down across the foot-end of the only bed in the room. "Aargh! And if this itching doesn't stop, I'm gonna skin myself alive!"

"Remind me again why they put the three of us in _one_ room?" Daniel entreated Sam, quickly becoming irritated by Jack's whining and the increasing itchiness of his own back.

"Janet's hoping we'll just kill each other so she won't have to find a cure," Sam replied without missing a beat.

Daniel shot a glare at Jack. "Well I think that plan is working."

"Just tune him out," Sam suggested quietly, absently rubbing her tingling fingers. "I do that most of the time he's in my lab when I'm trying to work."

With a friendly pat for Daniel's shoulder, Sam then stood and meandered into the kitchen-like area.

Daniel watched in idle curiosity as Sam opened a few cupboards, apparently searching for something specific.

"Aha!" Sam pulled two large Ziploc bags from a cardboard box and proceeded to fill them both with ice from the refrigerator/freezer's automatic dispenser.

Re-entering the bedroom/lounge, she kicked off her shoes and sat cross-legged in the center of the bed next to Jack.

"Roll over, sir," Sam ordered. "Onto your stomach."

"Why?" Jack mumbled, doing as he was told.

Rather than answer the question, Sam placed one makeshift ice pack directly on the middle of her Colonel's back. The only barrier between his skin and the ice was his very thin grey t-shirt.

"Gah! Carter! That's freezing cold!"

Sam firmly held the ice pack in place with one hand. "It's ice—it's supposed to be cold. Now quit moving and lie still. The cold will lessen the itch."

That caught Daniel's attention. "Less is good," he stated solemnly, rising to join his friends.

He laid on his stomach next to Sam's other side, correctly assuming the second ice pack was for him.

After a boring five minutes had passed with neither of them moving or talking, Jack mumbled, "You don't have to hold the ice there, Carter. It's not gonna jump off me if you let go."

"Oh, I'm not actually _holding_ it there, sir," Sam answered. "I used up all the ice for these two bags, and my fingers are itching again so I just figured you could share your ice."

"Oh, okay," Jack accepted the situation. Not that he had much choice anyway. "I'm still bored, though."

"Yeah, join the club," Sam muttered under her breath.

After two minutes of absolute silence, Daniel began humming softly to himself.

Jack lifted his head off his folded arms and gave Daniel a very odd stare.

The humming stopped.

"I wish I had my laptop," Sam remarked to nobody in particular.

"I wish I had _mine_," Daniel murmured in agreement.

"I wish I had a big, juicy steak," Jack contributed as his stomach protested its emptiness.

Sam chuckled. "I'm kinda hungry too, sir."

"Oh, Carter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"As long as we're in here, I'm ordering you not to call me 'Colonel' or 'sir' or any other title," Jack said with authority.

Sam raised both eyebrows in surprise. "What am I supposed to call you, then?"

He rolled over onto his side and faced her, propping himself up on one elbow. "You could try calling me 'Jack'," he suggested, a hint of humor coloring his slightly sarcastic tone.

Sam graced him with a little smile. "Yes, sir...um, _Jack_. Just so long as you call me 'Sam', and not 'Carter' or 'Major'."

Jack smiled back, pleased. "Fair enough." He reached behind his own shoulder and picked up the Ziploc bag of ice—most of which had melted by that time. "My back feels better, by the way. Thanks for the ice."

"No problem." Sam turned to ask Daniel how his back felt when she heard a quiet snoring sound come from his end of the bed. "Are we really that boring?" she commented offhandly to Jack.

"Not in _my_ opinion," he replied, trying unsuccessfully to sound offended. "Though, I bet if you painted Goa'uld symbols on your skin, Daniel would think you're _fascinating_."

Sam snorted in amusement. "I think I'll pass on that."


	6. Chapter 6

Daniel snoozed through twenty minutes of Jack and Sam's bantering, but he woke up when the steel door was flung open with a loud bang.

"What's going on?" he asked while yawning.

Teal'c entered the quarantine room, dressed from head to toe in a yellow environmental suit.

"Is the rubber clothing really necessary?" Daniel queried drowsily, eyeing the Jaffa 's unusual attire with curiosity.

Teal'c ignored the question. "I have persuaded General Hammond in allowing you entertainment during your isolation."

"You gonna sing for us, buddy?" Jack asked impishly.

Teal'c raised a solemn eyebrow, then stepped aside.

Two other men, also in environmental suits, pushed a large metal cart into the room.

"Board games?" Sam said in surprise, looking at the cart's contents. "No laptops?"

"No books?" Daniel pouted.

"And no video games," Jack grumbled.

"General Hammond specified only items which can be sterilized or incinerated at the conclusion of your quarantine. Printed literature and electronic devices do not apply to that category."

"Then why did you bring us a TV?" Jack pointed at the large, ancient-looking television on the bottom of the cart.

"It is, as the Tau'ri would say, a 'clunker'," Teal'c answered. "It holds no value."

"Does it even work?"

"Yes...with frequent interruptions of its power connection."

"Frequent interruptions," Jack echoed with a frown. "Well, at least it has a remote control."

_(time break)_

"How'd you do that?" Daniel pouted as Sam cornered his last Checkers piece.

Sam grinned. "It's all about strategy, Daniel."

"That, and the fact that Sam is ruthless at Checkers," Jack offered, keeping his eyes glued to the TV screen and the remote control gripped possessively in his hand.

Daniel pursed his lips as he shuffled through the stack of game boxes. "Let's play this one."

"Candyland?" Sam snorted, amused. "That's a game for the very youngest of children, Daniel."

"Right up Danny's alley," Jack piped up again.

Daniel wasted a glare in Jack's direction, as he was completely ignored by the older man watching television.

With a sigh, Daniel pulled out another box. "Pictionary?"

"You cheat at Pictionary," Sam said knowingly.

Daniel was offended by her accusation. "I do _not_ cheat at Pictionary! There's no way _to_ cheat!"

"You try to peek at the cards."

"I only did that _once_," Daniel huffed. "And it was because Teal'c had no clue how to draw a chainsaw. I was trying to point out the other options on the card!"

Unable to hear the TV through the rising voices, Jack sighed to himself. He poked Daniel in the shoulder with the remote control, suggesting, "Here—you watch TV, I'll try to keep Sam entertained."

"Fine with me." Remote in hand, Daniel switched lounging places with Jack and put the argument out of his mind.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam was getting quite agitated with her Colonel.

Instead of playing the silly board game properly—as Sam was doing—Jack decided to give his companions a sample of how obnoxious he could be.

For every figure that Jack sketched, Sam gave valid guesses. And since Jack was more adept than her at creating drawings—a skill he'd honed quite nicely while ignoring mission briefings and doodling in page margins—usually Sam's guesses were on the mark.

But for every picture that Sam drew with her less-than-artistic hand, Jack insisted it was a duck.

Seven 'ducks' later, and Sam had lost her grasp on what little patience she had left.

"Is that a duck?"

"It's a _horse_," Sam informed him through clenched teeth.

"Oh." Jack shrugged a shoulder. "Looked like a duck to me."

"Sir, you think _everything_ looks like a duck!"

"No, I think a _duck_ looks like a duck," Jack retorted a bit childishly. "And I also thought I ordered you not to call me 'sir'!"

"Could you two keep it down?" Daniel complained. "Jack is about to propose to Samantha."

"What?" Sam and Jack shouted simultaneously, both jerking their heads in Daniel's direction.

Realizing what he'd just said, Daniel blushed. "On the TV," he added belatedly, pointing a finger at the screen. "I, uh...I meant on the TV."

_Stupid soap operas_ , Sam thought to herself, her face tinged with pink. Not daring to look anywhere near Jack at the moment, she hopped off the bed and stalked over to the steel door.

She pounded the palm of her hand against the small window, asking the guards in a loud voice, "Is there any chance we could get lunch in here soon?"

One of the guards responded with, "I'm sorry, ma'am. Dr. Fraiser has instructed us not to allow food into your room until she approves it."

"Oh for cryin' out loud," Sam muttered to herself. "I'm stuck in the Looney Bin with Tweedledee and Tweedledum, and now my lunch is being held hostage?"

"You say something, Sam?" Daniel queried from across the room.

"Yeah…we can't have any food until Janet says so," she informed with irritation.

"Getting a bit cranky without your blue Jell-O?" Jack commented sourly.

Sam stared at him solemnly. "With respect, sir…please shut up."

"Nice going, Jack," Daniel snapped at him as Sam moved past them and locked herself into the room's adjoining bathroom.

"What'd I say?"

_(time break)_

Sam took small comfort in the icy water cascading over her tingling fingers. With her unaffected hand, she dampened a clean washcloth and gave her face a gentle scrub.

Her empty stomach rumbled, reminding her that for some cruel and unknown reason, Dr. Fraiser wouldn't allow their lunch to be delivered. Sam actually _had_ been looking forward to enjoying her usual cup of blue Jell-O...until the Colonel had piped up with that stupid and unfunny remark about her getting cranky without it.

Sam flushed with embarrassment and slight anger as she recalled the last thing she'd said to Jack before retreating to the lonely silence of the bathroom. Not only was it rude—it was also quite insubordinate to speak that way to a superior officer, no matter how deserving of it they were.

But she couldn't blame the Colonel entirely for the mutual grumpiness in their current environment. It was mostly her fault for losing patience at him and Daniel over such stupid little board games.

Jack was accustomed to being in control of things. Being the leader was as natural to him as breathing. But now he found himself in the very uncomfortable position of being essentially trapped. He couldn't control the situation and he dealt with it the only way he knew how—by disguising his feelings with sarcasm.

Daniel tried to make the best of the situation. Even though all they had were a junky TV and childish board games to pretend to enjoy, Daniel was still willing to play them with Sam to keep her from dwelling too much on their confinement.

And what was Sam doing to help her comrades? _Absolutely nothing_, she sadly admitted to herself. _I got mad at them both over silly trivial things, and just made everything worse._

Over the many years of working for the SGC, Sam had lost count of how often she and her teammates had been forced to occupy extremely enclosed spaces with each other on alien planets. How many times had they drawn strength and comfort from each other's presence while awaiting imminent torture from their captors?

Even a simple thing like eating in the SGC commissary was more enjoyable when in the company of her friends.

The Colonel always knew how to lighten their serious conversations with sprinkles of humor—usually some comradely mocking of Daniel's artifacts and Sam's projects.

Daniel was always fun to bounce theories off of; though they specialized in different topics of study, he and Sam were equals in their thirst for knowledge and understanding.

And Teal'c...well, they could always count on their solemn Jaffa brother to stand loyally beside them in the face of danger, and tell the honest and unbiased truth even when they didn't want to hear it.

They were a solidly-bonded team...yet they couldn't handle just a few hours of simple quarantine?

Sam was ashamed—of herself _and_ her teammates. They should be sticking together in their ridiculous time of trial, rather than bickering like adolescents.

A tentative knock sounded on the door, and before Sam could stop herself, she snapped, "What?"

Daniel's voice was quiet on the other side. "I just...need to get in there when you're done," he answered sedately. "Sorry I bothered you."

Sam glared at herself in the mirror. _Now you've hurt Daniel again._ "I'll be right out," she said in a much milder voice. She made a silent vow to be nice to her two favorite guys for the rest of their quarantine, no matter what else may happen.

She opened the bathroom door and stepped out. "It's all yours," she politely told Daniel.

Daniel slipped past silently and shut the door behind him.

Sam gave a resigned sigh, and perched on the edge of the bed next to Jack.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted, sir," she apologized with downcast eyes. "And for what I said. If you want to bring me up on insubordination charges, I completely understand."

"No, it's my fault," Jack countered with a smile. "I shouldn't have provoked you like I did. I should be the one apologizing here."

"But I shouldn't have lost my temper like I did," Sam insisted.

"And I shouldn't have made a crack about you getting cranky," Jack added seriously, but with a twinkle in his eye. "I'm willing to forget the argument if you will," he offered.

Sam suppressed a smile. "And the, uh…insubordination?"

Jack grinned. "If you play a game of Checkers with me, I'll also forget the charges entirely."

Sam smiled back, relieved. "Deal."

When their game was nearly finished, Daniel finally came out of the bathroom.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd accidentally fallen in," Jack teased lightly.

Daniel muttered something unintelligible and flopped across the bed behind Sam, inadvertently giving the checkerboard a minor upset.

Sam and Jack calmly moved the checker pieces back into their places.

_Typical Daniel,_ Sam idly thought to herself. _He's irked at me, yet still chooses to share the same piece of furniture with us rather than have that couch all to himself._

Daniel surfed through the meager assortment of seven TV channels, finally settling on a boring gardening program. He watched it for about four minutes before the signal cut out and he was left with a fuzzy grey screen.

After losing the Checkers game to Jack just a few moments later, Sam addressed her other companion. "Hey Daniel, you want to play Candyland with us?"

"You said only children play it," Daniel responded a bit coldly.

"Adults can play it too, though," Sam replied. "Can't they?"

He eyed her warily. "I guess."

"Aww, come on, Danny," Jack wheedled. "Sam's sorry for picking on you. Let's just forgive her and play a game together, huh?"

Daniel smiled despite himself. "All right."


	8. Chapter 8

With a medium-sized plastic container in her hands, Dr. Janet Fraiser stepped inside and shut the door. "I have good news and bad news," she began, getting straight down to business.

"How come you're not wearing an environmental suit?" Daniel interrupted instantly.

Janet raised an eyebrow. "Why would I need one of those? It's not an airborne virus. As long as I don't come into physical contact with it, I shouldn't have anything to worry about."

"If it's not airborne, then why are we stuck in here?" Jack demanded to know.

"Because I'm an evil power-monger," Janet replied with a straight face.

Daniel grinned. "The truth comes out."

Janet's face softened into a smile. "If I let you out, we risk contamination by contact. For instance, if Sam were to touch so much as the doorknob to the commissary with her affected hand, and everyone else touched that same doorknob..."

"...the entire base could be negatively affected," Sam finished wryly.

"Couldn't we just spread it around Siler's lab?" Jack put in impishly. "It was _his_ mold to start out with, you know."

Janet gave him a stern no-nonsense look. "Why were you asking about an environmental suit, anyway?" she asked the three.

"Teal'c had one on when he came to see us earlier today," Sam informed her. "But why would he be wearing it if he knew he didn't need to?"

"You'd have to ask Teal'c," Janet answered shortly. "His symbiote would protect him from any danger of the inflammation if he was exposed to it."

Daniel mulled over the subject in his mind, understanding suddenly dawning in his eyes. "He was mocking us!"

"Oh, surely Teal'c wouldn't do that," Janet disagreed kindly. "Now, do you want to hear my news or not?"

Sam grinned. "Sorry. Yes, please tell us."

"The good news is that I think I found a cure." Janet opened her container and held it out so the three of them could see.

Sam leaned forward to take a peek at the yellowish cream and got a whiff of its strong odor. "Oh, god!" She stumbled a few steps backward, clapping a hand over her nose and mouth.

"The bad news is the smell," Janet continued with a wrinkled nose. "This is why I didn't let you guys have lunch yet—I didn't want it to make a second appearance when I showed you my progress."

Daniel's eyes were beginning to water from the overwhelming stench. He brought his forearm up to his face and breathed through his long shirt sleeve.

Jack's stomach was tying itself in a knot. He cleared his throat in a weak effort to discourage the automatic gag reflex he felt working its way up. "What is it?" he choked out.

Unable to tolerate the smell any longer herself, Janet snapped the lid back on. "The main components are bleach alternate, regular cold cream, vinegar, and mild tranquilizers. The bleach alternate and vinegar are what's causing that smell."

"It smells like rancid yak butter!" Daniel gasped through his muffled, sleeve-covered mouth.

"I was able to test some of it on the Colonel's BDU shirt," Janet informed the trio. "If it works, I should have the results tomorrow. I may be able to mask the stench with some fragrance oils without altering the recipe too badly," she added hopefully. "But since I don't have anything appropriate on hand, I'll have to do some shopping."

"We're going to be here all night, aren't we?" Sam stated more than asked.

"All night, and probably longer." Janet gave them sympathetic looks. "I can lend you each a pair of scrubs to wear for pajamas tonight. If you want, I can also arrange for an airman to stop by your houses and collect any clothing or personal items you may need for an extended stay," she said to Jack and Daniel. "Sam, I can get your things myself or I can send Cassie for them."

"Wouldn't we have to burn anything and everything that we bring in here to use?" Jack questioned, recalling what Teal'c had mentioned earlier when he brought them the TV and board games.

Janet twitched a shoulder. "Not necessarily. We'll launder your clothing with color-safe bleach, so nothing should come out ruined. The bleach ought to sufficiently destroy the bacteria causing the rashes." She gave a chuckle and added, "Now if we could just give you all showers of bleach, we wouldn't need to quarantine you."

"Is there any chance we could get lunch in here before the day is over?" Daniel spoke up anxiously. "I'm gonna start snacking on this Candyland game board if I don't get something to eat soon."

"You'll have it in just a few minutes," Janet promised, walking back to the door with her container of odorous concoction in hand.


	9. Chapter 9

"Didn't Doc Fraiser say lunch would be in 'just a few minutes'?" Jack complained forty-five minutes later.

"Wishful dreaming, sir," Sam answered mildly, staring hard at the door as if it would magically deliver their food if she stared long enough.

Daniel picked up a black Checkers piece off the game board and scrutinized it, wondering if he could con his taste buds into thinking it was a piece of round licorice rather than the inedible plastic that it really was.

Jack voiced his displeasure once more. "Even Apophis would have given us something to eat by now."

Daniel's stomach growled in agreement. He gave a long sigh, tossing the Checkers piece back at its playing board.

Sam stood quietly near one corner of the room with her back turned toward them both. Careful not to make any sounds that would draw attention to herself, she snuck a half-smashed granola bar out of her jeans pocket and unwrapped one end.

Just as she took her first bite, Daniel's voice piped up behind her. "I smell raisins."

Jack sniffed the air. "And oatmeal," he added suspiciously. "And cinnamon."

_Oh, crap!_ Sam chewed as quickly as she could, and swallowed her mouthful of food. She tried to shove the rest of the bar back into her pocket, but the darn wrapper crinkled loudly in her effort, causing Daniel and Jack to immediately jerk their heads in her direction.

"She's got food!" Daniel exclaimed, jabbing a finger at the granola bar.

"Not for long, she doesn't!" Jack stated loudly.

And like two hungry wolves, they pounced.

Jack grabbed Sam around the waist while Daniel went for the granola bar.

"No! It's mine!" Sam kept an iron grip on her small chunk of food as she fought against the other iron grip around her waist.

"Major, I order you to forfeit that ration!"

"No, sir!"

"Ow! She kicked me! Hold her still, Jack!"

"I can't! She's as strong as I am!"

"Well do _something!_"

"You want to trade places with me, Space Monkey!"

"No way! She'd break my nose!"

"Agh! She's too busy stomping on my feet to bother with your nose!"

"Serves you right, sir!"

"Insubordination, Major!"

"Self-defense, Colonel!" Sam hurled back at him. And just like she had done to Daniel in the Jacuzzi the day before, Sam hooked her foot around Jack's ankle. Sure, she'd fall with him—but at least she'd have the satisfaction of taking Jack down, too.

Daniel tried to warn him. "Jack—watch out!"

Sam and Jack both stumbled backward, sliding awkwardly down the side-edge of the bed before landing together haphazardly on the floor.

To regain some advantage over her, Jack hauled Sam up into a sitting position on the floor, between his own bent knees. His arms were still around her, and the granola bar was still clutched firmly in her hand.

_Well hey, this isn't such a bad place to be,_ Sam thought to herself as she realized their newest position. Yet she still kept up a half-hearted struggle, mostly for appearance's sake.

Her granola bar was rapidly crumbling now (plus it was already a bit stale, anyway) and Sam wasn't quite so eager to eat much more of it as she was earlier. But that didn't mean she was going to let Jack have it without a fight.

Jack paused in their physical conflict, momentarily torn between the potential satisfaction of eating the rest of Sam's granola bar, and the definite satisfaction of holding Sam herself in his arms.

Daniel was no help at all by this point, as he had wisely refrained from getting any more involved in that battle.

Jack's stomach growled again, and the temptation of food finally won over the temptation of breaking the Military's fraternization rules. He shifted the arm that was around Sam's waist so he'd have better leverage, then tried once more to snag her food-wielding hand with his other one—narrowly missing and unintentionally grabbing another spot instead.

"Sir! Would you please remove your hand from that area!" Sam gasped in offense.

"Ow! I will, just as soon as you remove your elbow from my ribs!" Jack retorted painfully. He still sought the granola bar, despite his uncomfortable position on the floor.

"With respect, sir, I think you were raised by vultures!" With that, Sam suddenly ended the battle by chucking the smashed granola bar far away from them both.

"Nooooo!" Daniel watched the bar sail through the air and land with a _thunk!_ in a pile of dust in the corner.

_Hah!_ Sam thought to herself with mean satisfaction. _If I can't have it, nobody can._

Jack looked at the granola bar now lying on the floor, then gave Sam an accusing look. "You just had to go and do that, didn't you? Now we've got _nothing_."

"_You_ had nothing anyway," Sam grumbled quietly. "That was _my_ granola bar."

"Well, it was kind of your fault you lost it, Jack," Daniel interjected in Sam's defense. "You didn't have to attack her like you did."

"And a whole lotta help _you_ were," Jack turned on Daniel. "It's a good thing you don't fight the Goa'uld the same way you 'helped' me."

"This wasn't exactly a life or death battle. You can survive in here without stealing Sam's food, you know."

"I wasn't the only one who went after it!" Jack defended himself. "You're just as guilty!"

Sam sighed softly as her two teammates started in on each other again. Still trapped in her Commanding Officer's arms, she could do nothing but prop her elbow up on Jack's bent knee and lean her head on her hand.

"No, I didn't," Daniel denied Jack's latest comment.

"Yes, you did."

"Didn't."

_"Did."_

Sam rolled her eyes at them both, then spoke. "Sir?"

"What!"

Sam winced at the shout in her ear. "Sir...as much as I might be enjoying our position here on this floor, I think it's probably best that you let me go now."

Jack looked down at the woman who was practically sitting in his lap. "Oh. Right. Sorry, Sam." He reluctantly loosened his grip, and Sam just as reluctantly slid out of his embrace.

Incidentally, Sam had scooted away not a minute too soon.

The door opened just then and General George Hammond stepped confidently into their confinement room.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam and Jack scrambled to their feet and stood at attention for the General, both hoping he'd seen nothing through the window concerning their previous seating arrangement on the floor.

Hammond gave them a somewhat grim look before saying, "At ease."

Jack and Sam shared a quick glance, then both relaxed a bit.

Daniel, oblivious to the slight tension in the air, asked the General hopefully, "Are we going to be released soon?"

General Hammond shook his head regretfully. "I'm afraid not, son. Not until Dr. Fraiser can devise the appropriate treatment for your conditions. In the meantime, I am obligated to keep you contained here."

Daniel silently nodded his head in acceptance, poking his hands deeply into his pants pockets.

"I wanted to inform you all myself," Hammond continued, looking the three of them in the eye one at a time. "That until further notice, SG-One is off duty. SG teams Two and Three will be filling in on the off-world missions you were previously assigned to complete. Teal'c has requested to remain in active duty, so he will be accompanying the other teams as needed."

Jack and Sam now nodded their agreement with Hammond's decision—it wasn't as if they had any say in the matter right now.

"I trust Dr. Fraiser to do everything in her power to ensure that this situation is only temporary. But you do understand that if nothing can be done to cure this...fungus...I'm afraid that I'll have no choice but to permanently relieve you three of your duties here at Stargate Command."

"Let's hope it doesn't come down to that," Jack replied with false cheerfulness, rocking back once on his heels and unknowingly shifting closer to Sam.

Sam's skin tingled imperceptibly with goosebumps as Jack's short-sleeved shoulder brushed against hers.

Hammond squinted once more at the both of them. "Oh, and one other thing—"

Jack sucked in a breath. _He _**_did_**_ see us through the window. Crap!_

Sam stood in perfectly stilled nervousness, awaiting the reprimand she was sure they were going to get. _Why, oh why, did I have to get quarantined with the man I'm in love with?_

"—enjoy your lunch," General Hammond finally said, stepping aside as the door opened and their cart of food was wheeled through the doorway.

Jack exhaled in relief. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

_(time break)_

Sam polished off her rather dry meatloaf and bland mashed potatoes, then reached for her cup of blue Jell-O.

Just as she scooped up a spoonful of the jiggly little cubes, she got a brief mental flashback of the blue goop from Sergeant Siler's hot tub...and a reminder of the reason they were under quarantine.

Sam quickly dropped the spoon and Jell-O back into the cup and pushed it away, the unforgettable stench of Dr. Fraiser's 'cure' still quite fresh in her mind.

Daniel raised two dark eyebrows at the blue dessert now sitting next to his tray. "Not hungry anymore?"

"Not for _that_."

"What's wrong with it?" Jack asked innocently.

"Doesn't it remind you of some _other_ blue stuff?" Sam asked significantly.

Daniel peered at it again. "Now that you mention it, it does kinda look like..."

"...like Siler's Jacuzzi slime," Jack finished for him, a look of disgust on his face.

"Exactly." Sam sighed. "Well, so much for enjoying dessert."

Daniel looked down at his small plate of crumbs. He'd enjoyed his own dessert—a lemon poppyseed muffin with almond slivers on top—and now felt somewhat guilty that he hadn't offered Sam half of it.

Jack hadn't started on his dessert yet. He glanced at his large square of chocolate cake, then at Sam's abandoned Jell-O, and then back at the cake again.

He slid the plate across the table between himself and Sam. "We'll share mine."

Sam's mouth watered at the prospect of eating something chocolaty. Her fork ventured toward the plate and severed a bite-sized chunk of the soft brown cake.

She poked it into her mouth and savored the taste. "Mmmm...chocolate," she mumbled. "Food for the soul..." She swallowed and turned grateful eyes toward Jack. "Thank you. Very much."

Jack smiled at her, with a "You're welcome", then moved his own fork to the cake. Together, he and Sam finished it off.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam was beginning to wonder if there would ever be an end to their confinement. Hours had passed since lunchtime, and Janet had still not come back with any more news about a cure for their itchy affliction.

Once again, Sam was playing checkers with the Colonel, both of them stretched out sideways on the bed, facing each other, with the checkerboard between them.

Daniel was setting up a complex line of dominoes on the floor, each domino balanced upright on its narrowest end, and several paths branching out to wind around each other. When he ran out of dominoes, he snagged some of the captured checkers from Sam and Jack and added them to his path.

Jack finally won his game against Sam, and with a victory shout he threw a handful of checkers in the air. Two of them came down, bounced off the bed, and landed on Daniel's dominoes.

Daniel watched, dismayed, as his carefully-planned trail split in the middle and fell down on all sides. Only the checkers added to one end did not fall. They, instead, simply rolled out of sight under the bed.

Jack winced at what he'd accidentally done to Daniel's masterpiece. "Sorry," he offered sincerely. "...I could...help you set up another one..."

Daniel just gritted his teeth, gathered up the dominoes, and dropped them back into their box.

"...or not?" Getting no verbal answer, Jack shrugged and crawled under the bed to retrieve the runaway checkers.

A knock sounded on the door, and then it swung open immediately after.

Dr. Fraiser stepped in, a round plastic bucket held in her arms like a prized trophy. "I've got it!" she announced triumphantly to the three.

Jack scooted out from under the bed, Sam hopped down from the top of it, and they joined Daniel to gather around Janet and her bucket.

"It's purple," Sam observed.

"It doesn't stink," Daniel mentioned thankfully.

"What is it?" Jack wanted to know.

"It's the stuff I showed you before," Janet answered. "The only difference here is that I added lavender oil to mask the smell." She wrinkled her nose in memory. "A _lot_ of lavender oil. The small amount I tested on Colonel O'Neill's BDUs gave me some results much sooner than I'd hoped for. Let's hope it does as well on larger areas, on human skin."

"Tranquilizers still in there?" Jack questioned, looking down at the bucket of cream again. He did not like tranquilizers; they made his brain feel cloudy and threw off his sense of alertness.

"Yes. They're a necessary component, I'm afraid," Janet apologized. "Which reminds me, I'll have to prohibit your intake of coffee until this is all done and over with. I don't want the caffeine to mix with the tranquilizers and produce some unsatisfactory side-effects."

None of them liked having their coffee privileges revoked, but there was no other alternative. They couldn't even have carbonated sodas, either, unless they were strictly caffeine-free.

Janet explained to them how to apply the cream, how much, and how often. She told them to keep the bucket cooling in the fridge when they weren't using it, as it would keep the cream fresher and the coldness would feel so much more soothing on their rashy skin.

"I'll be back first thing in the morning to check on each of you," she said before leaving. She also gave them each a pair of blue scrubs to substitute for pajamas for that night, and instructed an airman to wheel one prepared cot into the room. Sam would have the large bed, and the guys could decide between them who would have the cot, and who would get the couch.

Dr. Fraiser left, and her three patients dutifully dug into their bucket of medication.

Sam's itchy fingers were starting to really bug her again, so at first she just stuck her entire hand in the bucket and held it there. After a few long moments, she pulled it out to make room for Daniel and Jack to scoop up their dosages.

Jack stripped his shirt off, grateful for a good reason to get the fabric off his tingling back.

Daniel, having more modesty than Jack seemed to have, medicated his own back without removing any clothing from it.

"Stuck in a room with Sam and Dan...doo-dah, doo-dah," Jack sang to himself as he awkwardly smeared some cream onto the middle of his back.

Daniel turned his head to give Jack a questioning look.

Jack continued, "Grab a Zat gun and shoot me now...oh doo-dah-day."

"I wondered how long it would take," Sam commented dryly.

"Well, at least it's not 'Row Your Boat'," Daniel responded.

"Got me a bucket of goop...slather it all around..." Jack gave Sam a mischievous look, finishing his song with: "Fling it at Sam and make her squeal...oh doo-dah-day."

"I do not _squeal_," Sam informed him with a half-smile. "I might gasp dramatically every now and then, but I _never_ 'squeal'."

Jack grinned. "Oh, we'll see about that."

He reached into the bucket for a fresh handful of the cream. But instead of pretending to throw it at Sam, he tried to attack her with it much like Daniel had done to her in the Jacuzzi that one fateful day.

And Sam did, indeed, squeal. It wasn't an overly girly squeal, but it was just enough to encourage Jack in his mischief.

Almost like two kids they raced around the room, until Jack finally had Sam cornered with her back to the wall and no way out.

Standing nearly nose-to-nose with Sam, and towering quite a bit taller than her, he stared menacingly into her wide blue eyes. He rubbed the cream between both of his hands, working up a good-sized purple mess, and then raised his goopy hands like claws coming at her.

"Don't you dare," Sam breathed, thoroughly convinced that he most certainly _would_ dare.

Jack just couldn't resist. He leaned in closer and closer...

For one very fleeting moment, Sam was tempted to close the rest of the distance between them and attack his lips with her own. _Dangerous territory, Jack. Come any closer and I just might kiss you. Oh, the sparks we could make together._

But Jack knew nothing of the thoughts running through Sam's mind. He stopped a hair's breadth away, flashed her a boyish grin and whispered, "Gotcha."

Sam glared into the face mere centimeters from her own, wishing in that moment that Jack's tightly-muscled bare chest had hairs so she could rip them out one by one like he oh-so-rightly deserved.

Jack, seeing that Sam was less than amused by his mock attack, tried to play it off. "Aww, come on, Sam...I was just joking. Aren't you even gonna smile?"

_Maybe when those tranquilizers kick in on you,_ Sam thought to herself. She didn't even know why she'd ran from him in the first place; it wasn't as if the cream on his hands was going to harm her. It was supposed to _help_ her, for cryin' out loud! Once again, she was ashamed of herself. _But still, he shouldn't have chased me like that. He'll get what's coming to him..._

Impulsively, Sam smiled prettily and held one hand out for a friendly shake, hoping Jack would be stupid enough to comply.

Jack, wondering why Sam was so amiable all of a sudden, decided to just accept it and shake her clean hand with his goopy one without ruining it by asking why.

His curiosity didn't last long, however, for as soon as he let go of Sam's hand, she raised it to his face and smeared the cream down his cheek.

Sam giggled at the look of disbelief on his face.

"Now, now, Major. No giggling," Jack chastised good-naturedly, rubbing the cream away from his cheek with the back of his wrist.

He stepped back under the pretense of letting Sam move out of the corner. But as soon as she stepped past him, he hooked an arm around Sam's neck and deliberately wiped some of the excess cream down her face.

She laughed along with him this time, not annoyed with him any longer. They were buddies again.

When late evening finally arrived and there was nothing else to do but get some sleep, Sam, Daniel, and Jack took turns changing into their medical-scrubs "pajamas" in the tiny bathroom and then bid each other goodnight.

And though they each hoped their extremely inconvenient quarantine would end by the next morning...well, they already knew their chances of that were slim-to-none.

_I just hope we can keep from killing each other_ , Sam thought to herself. She glanced over at the couch her favorite Colonel was stretched out on. Recalling how he'd cornered her earlier between the wall and himself and stood much, _much_ closer to her than their military regs permitted, she added silently: ..._and keep from seducing each other, too. _


	12. Chapter 12

Sam adjusted the falling neckline of her tank top for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

Cassie had delivered a suitcase of Sam's clothes to the SGC bright and early that morning, and Janet sent them in along with two more suitcases—one from Jack's house and one from Daniel's.

Sam was thrilled at first to be able to change out of her dirty clothes and into clean ones, but the garments in her suitcase were decidedly _not_ what she'd been expecting to dress in.

It seemed that Cassie had passed up the modest and practical part of Sam's wardrobe and skipped right to the secret and sexy elements.

From the suitcase, Sam pulled cutoff denim shorts, sexy bras and underwear, and cute sleeveless tops (thankfully the long-torso variety)— —things that Sam had, indeed, bought for herself, but with no intention at the time of purchase that she'd be wearing them in front of Jack and Daniel.

...well, maybe in front of Jack. Someday.

But still, couldn't Cassie have thrown in at least one pair of Sam's full-length jeans and long-sleeved shirts?

_It's a good thing they keep the room temperature comfortable here,_ Sam thought as she dressed in the bathroom. _Otherwise I'd freeze to death._

The guys said nothing about her new attire when Sam joined them again. Daniel accepted it with just one casual glance, but Jack had a little more difficulty.

Not that he didn't like her outfit—quite the contrary, in fact. He secretly _loved_ it, because it didn't cover up Sam's shoulders and arms and long shapely legs.

It was just very hard for Jack to get used to it without...you know...constantly _looking_.

Sam had caught him looking at her legs three times already. And he'd given her an innocent expression each time, of course. Hey, it wasn't his fault Sam had beautiful legs worth admiring, was it? Besides, it wasn't as if every single one of _Sam's_ glances at _him_ were all strictly platonic either.

Yes, Jack felt fully justified.

He turned to look Sam's way once more, but this time to ask her, "Hey Sam? Could you slap some more of that junk on my back?"

Sam's answer was delayed by a yawn. "Why me? It's Daniel's fault you have the rash. Make _him_ do it."

"Actually, you'd be doing yourself a favor too," Daniel helpfully pointed out. "You could apply the ointment to our rashes, and the cream on your hand can soothe your own rash at the same time."

Sam considered this. At length, she answered, "Nah. I'd much rather just relax in front of the TV with my hand in this bucket."

"Come on, Sam...you do my back, I'll do yours," Jack bribed.

"My back doesn't itch," she reminded him neutrally, keeping her eyes on the TV screen.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a muscle massage."

Sam yawned again, masking her surprise and interest at the idea of Jack O'Neill giving her a massage of any kind. Darn those tranquilizers in the cream—they were making her too sleepy to think straight.

But a massage sounded good, no matter how sleepy she was. "All right...whatever," she agreed, getting up from the floor. Grabbing a glob of purple cream in each hand from the bucket, she quickly doctored Jack's back and then Daniel's. Then she flung herself face down on her bed, awaiting the massage Jack had promised.

In lieu of massage oil, Jack spread some of the medicated cream lightly across Sam's bare shoulders. He gently began the massage, his fingers smoothing over the soft skin he'd only ever been privileged to glimpse a few random precious times over the years.

Sam hadn't moved at all for quite some time since the massage started, and Jack now noticed that she'd fallen asleep.

And now that Jack thought about it, _he_ was actually kinda tired, himself. He yawned, stretched his arms up over his head, and decided to take a nap too.

He shuffled off Sam's bed and started for the couch, but as soon as his feet touched the floor the couch seemed a mile away from him. Definitely too far to walk in his sleepy condition.

Jack sat down again on Sam's bed, yawned once more, and figured to himself that there was no reason why Sam couldn't share her nice comfy mattress for just a little while. Jack would have done the same for her without question, if the need ever arose. And besides, he was _exhausted_.


	13. Chapter 13

Daniel was bored.

He'd played about thirty games of solitaire with a worn-out deck of cards, constructed a deformed castle from the playing-boards of all the boardgames, and lined up each and every game piece he could find in a grid in the middle of the floor.

Yep, he was bored.

He tried to take a nap like Sam and Jack were currently enjoying. But instead of feeling sleepy enough for a nap, Daniel was wide awake. And bored.

So very _bored_.

He shuffled his deck of cards and laid out another solitaire set. He played half the game and then he couldn't take it any longer.

"Argh!" He scooped up the cards and flung them into the grid of plastic game pieces, scattering them about like fallen soldiers in a defeated battlefield.

Daniel felt like a caged animal. He paced around the room, glaring at the steel door with every pass by it and wondering if maybe he could somehow pick the lock or snap the hinges off and break out of his maddening confinement.

It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so restless. He paced some more, thinking.

He tried some sit-ups, but the floor hurt his back after just a few. So he tried push-ups instead, and those only made his anxiety worse.

Finally he did some jumping-jacks which expelled a tiny amount of his pent-up energy. He felt somewhat better afterward, but still not one bit tired.

He thought about the irony of that, and a small giggle escaped.

Daniel clapped a hand over his mouth in horror. He'd just giggled. _Giggled_, like a _girl_.

Those exercises hadn't helped after all. In fact, the only thing they actually did for Daniel was set off a dreaded feeling—of hyperactivity.

Yay.

_(time break)_

Sam shivered, moving closer to the warmth and attempting to crawl inside it.

But the warmth only mumbled in her ear and rolled away.

Though mostly still asleep, she instinctively followed it, relaxing as the warmth now curled around her.

_(time break)_

Jack's nostrils twitched. They were being tickled and they didn't like it.

He dreamed that a duster made of fluffy feathers was being poked up his nose. But the dream didn't feel like a dream.

Those feathers up his nose felt a little too real. A little too tickly.

They smelled nice, though.

He brushed them away from his nose but they came back immediately, attacking his cheek and chin in addition to his nostrils.

Boy, those annoying feathers sure smelled good.

He breathed in the scent, ignored the ticklers, and tightened his arms around whatever that large solid thing was that held him down.


	14. Chapter 14

Sam didn't want to wake up. She was too warm and comfortable for that just yet.

She wiggled around a tiny bit to get even more comfy, and froze in mid-wiggle when a voice mumbled against her ear, "It's my sidearm—I swear."

Her eyes flew open.

There, not more than an inch away, was the face of her Commanding Officer. He was still asleep, but just barely.

Jack squinted one eye open when he felt the tickly feathers leave his face. But they weren't feathers after all—they were strands of short blonde hair.

"_That's_ what's ticklin' me," he murmured groggily, poking at a soft tuft with one finger. He opened his other eye, and together they took in the face attached to the head of hair.

"Oh. Hi, Sam."

Sam just stared back, wide-eyed and unmoving. She wasn't quite sure what to do. The Colonel wasn't asleep but he wasn't exactly awake either. And he didn't seem at all concerned with the fact that they were literally wrapped around each other.

When Sam didn't respond to his greeting, he shrugged a shoulder and closed his eyes. "Night."

Sam thought that maybe she could slide out ever so carefully without waking him again. It would save her a lot more embarrassment if she could just get to somewhere else and pretend Jack dreamed it all.

She shifted and slid, slid and shifted, but her stubborn Colonel just wouldn't let go. His wonderful strong arms were pinning her in place. Time for Plan B.

"Sir," she whispered. _"Sir."_

"Mmnhmm."

"Sir, wake up."

"Hmhmm." Though he kept his eyes closed, Jack really was awake by now. The tranquilizers were messing with him, putting him into a strangely playful mood with Sam.

The military regs kind of slipped his mind for a while. He wondered just what would happen if he pretended he was still asleep…

"Gah!" he jumped when Sam suddenly poked him in the side. "Don't do that!" He grabbed both of her wrists and held them away.

"You faker!" Sam accused, glaring into his now wide-open brown eyes. "I thought you were asleep!"

"I _was_ asleep," he responded with a grin. "And so were you, as I recall."

Yes, she _was_ asleep—and in his embrace, no less! Sam was sure she'd get a court-martial for that one if anyone ever found out.

She forcefully pulled away from him this time and rose from the bed, self-consciously pulling at the neckline of her sleeveless shirt and the bottoms of her cut-off shorts. "I need water," she gave excuse to put space between them and nearly launched herself to the sink.

Jack, disappointed that Sam was no longer there with him but understanding all too well the reason behind it, also moved off the bed.

He shuffled curiously over to where Daniel was sitting in the midst of a pile of boardgame boxes, various contents strewn here and there.

"Whatcha doing?" Jack questioned.

Daniel, realizing that his two roommates were now awake, nearly pounced on them in excitement.

"Jack! Sam! Look—look—look!" He jumped up, holding a small but colorful package and grinning happily. "I found crayons in the Scrabble box! There's _red_ and _green_ and _orange_ and _blue_ and..." He dumped the crayons into his hand and poked each one as he emphatically recited its color. "Oooh, looky Jack—they put your hair color on a crayon!" he exclaimed, holding up a small silvery piece.

Jack frowned at him.

"Holy Hannah...Daniel's as high as a kite," Sam observed, wide-eyed.

"He wasn't like that earlier, was he?"

"Not that I recall," Sam answered. "...of course, we were both asleep for quite a while..." she trailed off, blushing at the memory of when and how they'd woken up.

Jack hid his little grin from Sam. He'd treasure that memory for many years to come.

"Well, this should be fun," he stated with a small laugh at Daniel. "It's a shame we don't have a video camera or something...this could have been great material for future blackmailing purposes."

They watched curiously as their colleague scribbled a very big and very crooked 'mural' with his stubby crayons on the grey cement wall of their large room.

"Was there some drug in Janet's cream she didn't tell us about?" Jack wondered out loud.

"If there was, wouldn't it have affected us, too?" Sam reasoned.

Jack shrugged a shoulder, his mind feeling too cloudy to think it out. "I guess."

"What should we do about him?"

Again, Jack shrugged. "Let the Doc figure it out in the morning. Right now, I think I need more sleep."

His gaze fell onto the bed against the far wall and lingered as he pictured himself and Sam sharing it as they had just a while ago.

He'd love an excuse—any excuse—to go back to it and have Sam join him there again, but he knew he'd better not risk it. For his heart or his career.

He headed for the couch.

_(time break)_

Sam's sleep was interrupted by someone poking at her shoulder and whispering her name.

"Sam? Sam?"

"Mmgghh," she grunted back, irritated at being woken.

"Sam? Are you awake?"

"Daniel?" Sam opened one eye and squinted at him sleepily. "What are you doing?"

"Do you have a rainbow crayon?" Daniel whispered anxiously.

"A what?" Sam mumbled uncomprehendingly, rubbing her eyes.

"A rainbow crayon." He pointed to his wall, which was partially illuminated by the light from the open bathroom door. "I wanna make a rainbow, but I can't find a rainbow crayon," he explained solemnly.

"Daniel, go to sleep," Sam ordered simply and closed her eyes.

"I can't," Daniel whined, pouting like a little boy. "I'm not sleepy. And I can't sleep when I'm not sleepy."

Sam sighed. "Then will you at least play quietly so the rest of us can sleep tonight?"

His blue eyes widened in surprise. "Did I wake you up?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, sorry!" he apologized sincerely but a bit too loudly.

On the couch a few feet away, Jack awoke with a grunt not unlike Sam's. "For cryin' out loud, Daniel! It's four in the morning! Shut up and go to bed!"

Daniel winced in the darkness. "You don't have to yell at me," he mumbled with another childish pout that nobody could see.

Seeing that neither Sam nor Jack was inclined to help him in his quest for a rainbow-colored crayon, Daniel quietly went back to his wall.


	15. Chapter 15

When she rose on the morning of their third day in captivity (seemed more like a hundred and three), Sam found Daniel conked out and stretched across a spread of concrete floor with a crayon clutched firmly in his hand.

After making sure he was still alive and breathing, Sam moved into the bathroom to take a nice hot shower before Colonel O'Neill could wake up and claim it.

She exited the bathroom a while later and caught O'Neill red-handed—or rather, white-crayoned—as he was drawing a "dead body" outline around Daniel's unconscious form on the floor.

Jack grinned up at her. "I couldn't resist."

Sam smiled back; it _was_ pretty funny. "I'll summon Janet. Maybe she can figure out what's wrong with him."

By the time Janet made it down to their confinement room, Daniel was wide awake again. And after taking a ridiculous amount of time getting him to sit still, Janet finally had a diagnosis.

"It must be his allergy medication. The antihistamine in his system is interfering with the tranquilizers in my topical cream, and creating a conflict. Instead of making him feel sick, or extra sleepy like you two…it's giving him jaunts of hyperactivity mixed with small doses of exhaustion."

"Can you fix it?" Jack questioned.

Janet nodded. "He'll have to be taken off his allergy meds. It shouldn't pose too big a problem since he's indoors here and not outside. And as with my cream, we'll see if it works."

"It'll work," Sam said with confidence in her physician.

"Let's hope." Dr. Fraiser examined the rashes of her two other patients.

"They're both looking good," she assured Jack and Sam.

"Good enough to get out of here?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Good enough to continue with your treatment," Janet responded with a smile.

"Damn."

"I know," Janet offered sympathetically. "But I can't let you out until the fungus is completely gone. It's the rules."

"It's the _pits_," Jack corrected. "Who cares about the rules? I'm sick of the rules. And I'm sick of the food in here. I want steak. And pizza. And ice cream. And _cake._

Dr. Fraiser smiled knowingly. "Chocolate?"

"With frosting."

"And sprinkles," Sam added wistfully. "And a cherry on top."

Janet shrugged. "I'll see what I can do."

"Really?" Jack was surprised.

"Sure." She winked. "I'll prescribe it, as medication for the healing process."

"Cool."

"How's your cream supply?" Janet inquired, back to business.

Sam answered, "It's nearly gone. We've been using it nonstop."

"Good. I want you to use it as much as possible. If the fungus is overwhelmed by medication it should clear up much faster. And then you'll be out before you know it."

"Well hey—why don't we just fill a Jacuzzi with the stuff and soak in it?" Jack quipped lightly.

"A Jacuzzi is what got us into this mess in the first place," Sam answered with a smirk.

"Well…that, and Daniel," Jack added.

Daniel pouted. "How was I to know that slime was toxic?"

"He can battle the Goa'uld and save Earth many times," Jack remarked. "But he can't hold back from playing with a pile of sludge."

Sam snorted in amusement, earning a wounded look from Daniel. "Sorry," she offered contritely.

Janet bit back a grin of her own. With a controlled smile, she finished up her visit and promised them another bucket of cream.

An hour after the new cream was delivered, their confinement room door opened again and a wheeled cart appeared. A square bakery-style box sat on the top of the cart, along with three forks, three napkins, and three large glasses of milk.

"Wow," Jack stated, looking down at the chocolate-covered cake in the box. "She wasn't kidding. Sprinkles and everything."

"And a cherry on top."

"And milk to wash it down with," Daniel added happily.

Sam grinned, handing out the forks.


	16. Chapter 16

Jack felt sorry for Daniel. The remainder of his antihistamine allergy medication quickly dissipated from his internal system, and he spent the rest of his day sneezing.

Cold made him sneeze. Warmth made him sneeze. Checkers made him sneeze. TV made him sneeze.

The poor guy—even the chocolate cake with frosting and sprinkles made him sneeze.

Momentarily in between sneezes, Daniel noticed the crayon drawing he made on the wall during his "high" time the day before. "Whoa. Who drew that?"

"You did," Jack answered amusedly.

"I did?" Daniel raised an eyebrow, tilted his head, and squinted at the mural. "I hadn't realized I was such a poor artist."

Sam giggled at his obvious bewilderment.

"Oh, I dunno," Jack contradicted, giving Daniel a brotherly pat on the shoulder. "I thought it was pretty good art for someone who was completely loopy the whole time."

"Why did I draw on the _wall_?" Daniel asked, confused. "I haven't done that since I was four years old."

"When you've got no paper," Jack answered logically. "The wall's the next best thing."

Daniel considered this, sneezed twice, and moved on.

_(time break)_

He thought there was nothing worse than sneezing all day.

He was wrong.

Sneezing all night was twice as bad.

He couldn't sleep a wink; each time he started to drift off, another sneeze would jolt him awake.

He held one in as long as he possibly could, then decided he'd better let it go before it exploded his nostrils.

It was a very bad idea, because when that one long-suppressed sneeze finally came out, it was with such a jarring force that Daniel's cot lurched to one side and both legs at the foot end snapped out from under.

He sneezed some more, sighed, picked himself up off the ground, and kicked at the broken cot.

If he wasn't so tired, he'd have taken off the pancake-thin mattress and thrown it on the floor to sleep on. But he just didn't have the strength for it.

Not caring one little bit about personal space—his or anyone else's—he woke Jack and miserably demanded to be allowed one half of the couch.

The couch—barely larger than Daniel's cot—wasn't really big enough for one grown man, let alone two of them.

But because he felt some pity for Daniel and his allergies, Jack agreed to share. He sat in a semi-reclining position at one end of the couch, and let Daniel curl up on the rest of it.

"Thanks," Daniel sniffled, wrapping his blanket around himself.

"Sure," Jack answered, spreading out his own blanket.


	17. Chapter 17

He woke up when he hit the floor. "What the— what's going on?" he mumbled, disoriented. In the darkness, he looked up at the couch on which he'd sleeping peacefully just moments before. There was someone else stretched out on it now, asleep already and snoring away.

Jack had to think about that one for a minute. "Oh yeah. Daniel. Snoring couch-thief."

Prepared to sleep on the floor if he had to, he reached for his blanket. Coming up empty, he looked again at Daniel. "Blanket thief, too."

Well, he wasn't going to sleep on the cold hard floor—not without a blanket.

Jack pulled his pillow out from under Daniel's feet and looked around for a new place to sleep. Daniel's broken cot was out of the question; Jack wasn't that desperate.

Someplace else…aha!

Sam could share. That bed was plenty big enough. And why should she get the entire thing to herself, anyway? Just because she's the only female?

_Well, I'm the only Colonel,_ Jack told himself. _And I'm the only one without a bed._

Yes, Sam could definitely share.

"Sam," Jack whispered near her head.

No response.

"Sam?" he tried again, giving her shoulder a poke.

Still nothing.

Jack leaned in really close to her ear and whispered, "Sam, I wanna sleep with you."

Her eyes popped open. "What?"

"But for tonight, I'll settle for just sharing your blankets," Jack finished, grinning impishly at her.

Sam stared at him with narrowed eyes. He'd interrupted her sleep—with a very suggestive comment, no less—just to ask for a blanket? "Fine, take one." She closed her eyes again, preparing to drift back to dreamland.

"I, uh…also need to share your mattress."

"Why?" she asked suspiciously, opening her eyes again.

"Because I don't seem to have one anymore," Jack answered her, pointing toward his former bed. "Daniel broke his, and then he stole mine."

Sam sat up to see. "Oh, for cryin' out loud," she muttered to herself. She closed her eyes, counted to five, and opened them again. "I suppose you need my pillow, too?"

"No, I've got my own." Jack showed her. "Soooo…?"

Sam yawned, covering her mouth with one hand and gesturing toward the bed with her other hand. She pulled the covers over her head and shut her eyes again.

Jack scooted in under the sheet and blankets, trying his hardest not the jiggle the bed any more than necessary. But one foot somehow got tangled up a little bit in the sheet, and he jerked it free with more force than he'd intended.

He accidentally kicked one of Sam's ankles. Not hard, but not softly either.

Sam grunted against the blow, and drew both of her feet to her edge of the bed far away from Jack. "Good night, sir," she said through semi-clenched teeth.

"Goodnight, Carter."

Jack and Sam went to sleep on separate sides of the bed, with their backs toward each other and a mile of space between them.

Upon waking, however, they found that their situation had changed completely.

"This is…different," Jack said in wonder.

"Sure is," Sam whispered back.

"Kinda nice, though."

"Yeah."

"Uh, Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"That's not my sidearm."

Sam giggled. "Sorry."

"Sure you are," Jack replied disbelievingly. "And you might want to be quieter if you don't want to wake up Daniel."

"Oops. I forgot he's right over there." She snuggled a bit closer to the warm body tangled around hers.

Jack's hand that had been resting on her hip now moved a bit north, giving her goosebumps all the way up to—

"Jack!" Sam gasped. "That's _not_ my shoulder!"

Jack chuckled. "I know it's not," he whispered as his lips descended on hers.


End file.
